


ONLY ONE {JUNSOL | UNB}

by wistfulfeeling



Category: JUNSOL - Fandom, unb, unme
Genre: Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Hotshot - Freeform, M/M, Yaoi, ace - Freeform, kpop, newkidd, ukiss - Freeform, unb - Freeform, unme - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 23:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16774666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulfeeling/pseuds/wistfulfeeling
Summary: Lee JunYoung is the new popular kid in town, who has everything. However, there is an existential void within him, which he doesn't know how to fill yet. In search of a new direction that will help him change the course of his monotonous life, his path of flowers intersects dramatically with Ji Hansol, a mysterious but handsome young man, who only knows pain and darkness.





	1. The Start

Part 1

//2018, Sinchon, Seoul.//


	2. I

**PART 1**

Sinchon streets shine more than ever. People walking around, noise, neon lights and smell of food just made in the pojangmacha, only mean one thing: he's so far away from Gangnam. He takes a deep breath.

Freedom, finally.

He didn't sleep for some many nights and have long and hard fights with his father because of this important decision he taken. The thing here is that Jun had always everything, from the most expensive gifts to the most extravagant friendships. Son of one of the most powerful business man in Seoul, he never needed put so much effort to get whatever he wanted and that's the biggest reason why he's walking down the Sinchon streets right now, with a little bag full of university dreams and freedom. Perhaps for those hundred of students who perfectly know the city, a simple situation like a walk in these never-sleep streets is something normal. But everything is new for Jun. Everything is uncertain but fabulous. He doesn't have afraid of the new challenges in life. There is only one thing that scares him: never find happiness. But then, while he walks with the hands inside his pockets and looks around, he really knows there's nothing to be scared of, because he is exactly where and how he wants.

His new (and little) apartment is near the city center. But, to be honest, the only think he wants is to be admitted to Hongik University, not just for studies Art but also live in their dorms, where Jun is sure he will meet new friends, normal people who will teach him about the new world that is opening in front of his eyes. His parents were always overprotective and now Jun is really hungry to find out new experiences by himself, He wants to face new challenges because of the destiny and not because his parents have forced him to.

  
He sighs and feels like life is just starting.

He looks at the sky, is a starry night and the moon looks so bright. Jun thinks that even there the firmament is diferent from the one in his old city. It's at that moment, while he enjoys the beautiful place, that sees something totally extrange. He stops and squints trying to see clearly what's that strange figure in the distance, on the cornice of the most high building. He has a slight suspicion, but maybe in his inside, he's just trying to denied it because... Which kind of man would love to sitting in a building roof?

"That dude is going to jump from there?"

He hears people arround mutter while also stop their steeps just to take a look what's happening. But nobody seems enought dismayed to do something more than just look. Jun feels a small despair that seizes him, because he was an human so, Who would want to be a witness to such a show, where someone is about to end with his life in less than anyone could imagine? 

"Someone needs to call the police!" Jun shouts, but no one pays him attention. So he decides to turn that iniciative in action. He takes his phone and calls emergency. "Hi. I'm in Sinchon's city center, at the intersection of the station streets. There's a man who's on top of a building and I think he's going to jump! .... eh? .... if am i sure? .... He's on the roof! I don't think he's there just to see the stars!? Please come here fast!... the exactly address?! i don't know! i'm new in town! ... Are you aware that while you are asking me all these things, a misfortune may be happening?.. ahhggg" he protests and looks up again. That man is still there, just one step from kill himself. "Please come here now!" He ends the phone call. It's time to act. He runs between the people and manages to enter the building, it seems to be an Hotel, he's not sure but that's not something he cares about now. "There's someone on the building roof! He's going to jump from there!" screams while runs. A man wearing a security uniform, stops him.

"You can't be here without a reservation"

"Did you hear me? There's a man who needs our help"

He looks at him a few seconds "I'm going to call the police, you're a trouble brat"

"But we need to save him! Isn't there somebody who care about?" First the silent and then the awkward mutter from all the people around him. His blood just frozen. Jun doesn't want to be like them. He cares about that man. So he doesn't think it twice and pushes the security man and starts running the stairs. These are the most painful seven floors he climbed in his whole life, but when he is finally in the last one, hearing the steeps from those security people following him, he just opens the door and the cold wind hits his face. He's finally in the building roof.

The first thing he can see is that man, standing in the edge of the cornice. Jun knows that if he shouts, if he does a misfortune move, everything will be in vain. The man is in fact a boy, maybe he's the same age as Jun. He's tall and he's enough devasted to think that being there is the right decision. Jun takes a first steep, slow and in silent, but when he sees one of the boy' feet is hanging on the air, he can't help but run to him. He pulls his clothes making him fall backwards, holding the impact of that heavy body between his arms, staying face to face and on the ground.  
Jun stares at him. His eyes are big, they're red, perhaps swollen from crying so much. He trembles like a leaf that's almost to fall from a tree in the middle of a cold winter. Jun touches his face and the contrast between the heat of his hand and his almost frozen cheek, makes him notice the importance of what had just happened.

"Don't do it!" Jun whispers looking him in the eyes "Don't ever try that again, please, don't do it" He can't help but hugs him. Strongly hang on to his cold body. Jun needs to hear his breathe, his heart beating, he needs to find signs of that little light of life. He needs to know it's still shining between his arms.

"There he is! That's the crazy guy who came in and ..." The security guard, escorted by a group of policemen, is silent, seeing the situation. Seeing that this upset young man, whom he accused of being crazy, was right and is now, the new hero of Sinchon.

The police and minutes later, the paramedics, take charge of the situation once they manage to recompose a bit of shock, both the boy in question and Jun, who is also somewhat impacted and mobilized by the course of events. Jun didn't spend more than 4 hours in that new city and still, there he is, living a drama that seems like the story told in the pages of some tragic novel.

Once safely, on the sidewalk covered by curious passers-by, Jun answers all the questions they ask him: "Why did you get there? Do you know this person? How old are you? Do you know where he lives? Where do you live? Did you know that going against the methods applied by professionals in these cases is illegal and you may have to pay a fine or go to prison? " and so many other things that he answers as he can, but above all, staring at that boy, the reason why he is now involved in that unexpected situation. His image is something he had never seen in his short life. The boy has his eyes lost, towards a point in the nothing, as if his body was physically present, but his mind was somewhere else, in a world totally parallel to his. Jun was always surrounded by all those people who seemed to be so happy in the photos of their social networks, driving their luxurious cars, eating in those expensive restaurants of Gangnam. He never faced pain or sadness. Not even in his 20 years, he had never met death. Therefore, the image of that boy, the confusion on his face, his fragility ... were things that can not be overlooked. The ambulance door where he is sitting closes, and then Jun reacts.

"Where do they take him? I have to go with him"

The policeman who is next to him asking so many questions, observes him without understanding "I thought you said you didn't know him..."

"I don't. But anyways, I want to go with him"

"That's not your business" he says and keeps his notebook "Go home, you've done a lot for today"

"But..."

"I am ignoring the fact that you hit a security agent and interfered in the work of the public service, if I were you, I would leave immediately."

Jun understands his words and although he turns around to continue on his way home, as if nothing had happened, he would be lying if he said that for the rest of the nights after the incident, he didn't dream of the image of that mysterious boy appearing in his mind.

* * *

**PART 2**

"Ah, I need to see where my name is, you giants, move!" Gwangsuk makes his way through the tumult of students in front of the information board.

"Stay calm shortie, your problem is not the amount of people but the size" Euijin jokes as he follows in his footsteps.

Gwangsuk stops and turns to, surely, claim Euijin that he is not so tall either, but YuChan stops him gesturing, pointing to the tallest of the group that comes walking with them.

"Hey, is it Lee Junyoung?" he exclaims as if he did not know him, as if he was not his roommate for six months now "Are you coming to see the qualifications? Surely yours is the best!" YuChan continues raising the tone of his voice, while flattering Jun, who is far from understanding what is his intention, until he sees how all that group of students that obstruct the way, move to let him pass.

"Jun! How are you?" "Your rating is excellent! Congratulations!" "Lee Junyoung! See you in painting class!" Those are some of the many things that everyone says when they see he is walking by the hall. Jun just nods and greets, with a smile and a warm "Thank you" that can melt even the strongest man. Once in front of the billboard, Yuchan, Euijin and Gwangsuk share complicit glances. They observe what their qualifications are and as expected, while they have a comfortable place in the middle of the table, Jun is at the top. He sighs with relief and turns around. They leave satisfied with the results, however, the situation is still a bit funny.

"Woah, that was a good plan" Euijin congratulates Yuchan.

"As expected, my best disciple" Gwangsuk patted his back.

Yuchan smiles "If you can't deal with tall people, join them"

Jun gives him a little blow on the shoulder "I don't know why I chose to get together with the smallest of the class"

"Excuse me, sir, tall and popular" Yuchan jokes.

"Aish, do not say that, I'm not popular"

Euijin starts laughing "Sure, that's why all the students of the university know you and want to be your friends"

Jun just frowns and denies the situation by shaking his head from side to side "I just try hard in my studies"

"And you're almost 190cm tall," Gwangsuk mutters.

"And you're handsome," Euijin says.

"And all the girls die for you" Yuchan continues the list of what appear to be all of Jun's infinite qualities.

Jun can only roll his eyes and sigh "What am I going to do with you?" he says and smiles a little. He enters the room and walks to his class bench, almost at the end of the long rows of seats.

The large window of the classroom is right next to him, Jun had chosen that place for a special reason. From there, he can observe towards the outside world when the classes seem to overwhelm him, he can feel the warm rays of the sun that appear in the morning and in the evening. But above all things, from that place, he can keep dreaming of finding that boy again, maybe seeing him again crossing that huge university park, walking under the blue sky. And maybe that sounds corny or stupid, but since that night, exactly 6 months ago, Jun could never get that boy's image out of his mind. He could never help feeling that he was waiting for someone who, apparently, would never return. There are moments when the uncertainty of not knowing where he is, what his fate had been after that (almost tragic) night, overwhelm him, so much so that Jun does nothing more than think about him, his big eyes staring at him, the cold of his body, in his accelerated breathing. Perhaps, the fact of the unknown situation, was what keeps him most tied to the desire to see that person again, without even knowing what his name was. What had happened that night, he could never tell anyone. Not because he doesn't care but because Jun felt the need to take care of this strange boy, even trying to be discreet about the situation. However, with the passing of days and months, that hope of knowing the continuation of the history of that misterious boy, slowly fades away.

Despite that, Jun can't complain about his new life. He is really grateful to be able to have that new opportunity to start from scratch, in a new place, with new people and new friendships. From the day he set foot inside that imposing place and was lost among the vastness of the unknown, Gwangsuk was the first to help him, not only to find his new room and meet his roommate, Kang Yuchan and his classes mate Lee Euijin, he also guided him to integrate in that new world, totally unknown to him.

"You should blink from time to time" Gwangsuk hits his seat a bit, seeing him again, immersed in his thoughts, looking away from the window.

Jun sighs "What will we do tonight?"

"I don't know, Study?"

"Aish, I'm a little tired for that today"

"You say it because your rating was the highest" Euijin reveals it.

Jun hits the seat of Yuchan that is in front of his.

He turns to see him "Don't count on me for your nocturnal walks, I will meet to study with another person"

Jun frowns. "What person?"

"Why are you so interested in night walks in Sinchon? It's as if you were always looking for something ... or someone" Yuchan redoubles his bet.

Jun sighs "It's okay, you'll leave me alone again"

Euijin patts his back "You are very popular, you will surely find someone who wants to go out with you"

"Sure some third-year girl" Gwangsuk mutters.

"No" Jun turns and points him with his finger "Don't start again with that"

"Hey, what were you doing that night at the university park with Bae JinYe?"

"I already told you that I was with her because she was afraid to cross the place alone and at night!"

"Pff" Yuchan makes fun of him "Naive..... or you want to take us for stupid"

"It's not what you think!"

"It's okay, it's okay, leave him alone." Euijin tries to calm the situation "He will tell us the truth when he is ready"

"I'm not lying!"

"Oh, maybe that's why he always spends his time looking out the window, expecting to see his beloved girl again in the park" Gwangsuk never knows how to stop.

"It's not her I think about, it's another person ..." And he can not finish the sentence, because at that moment, he realizes that he should not mention THAT person. But ... it's too late. His three friends look at him with intrigue, his eyes wide open, almost unblinking for a few seconds.

"Who?" Yuchan is the first to speak.

"I'm not going to tell you"

"What is her name?" Euijin insists.

"No ..." he pauses, which seems eternal "I don't know"

"That's impossible" Gwangsuk denies the situation "You can not think of anyone, without even knowing what its name is"

Jun sighs. If only he knew what his name is. If only he knew more about that boy, maybe he would not have that huge confusion in his mind. Why did he think so much about him? Why couldn't he forget him? Why did he feel that way with just remembering the features of his face?

The door of the room opens and the teacher enters the place, however, it is not precisely his presence that makes Jun's blood freeze. His heart is about to burst. Jun is a second of jumping from the chair and run, but he doesn't. He try to keep the little sanity that is still in him, while he's seeing him standing there, with a much more rosy tone on the face, but with the same lost look. It's him. It's that same person who had marked his life from the first moment their eyes met. It's him, pressing hard the book he holds between his arms, walking in silence to one of the chairs of the first rows. It's him, with his brown hair a bit misaligned.   
It is him, finally.   
Again, it's him.

"I can't believe it" Yuchan mutters and turns to look at Gwangsuk and Euijin in amazement.

"Woah" Gwangsuk blurts out "I can't believe what I see either"

"I really thought He would never go back" Euijin confesses in a whisper.

Jun doesn't really understand what they're talking about, or maybe he's too shocked that he doesn't have enough time to understand them. "What's wrong?" he asks quietly.

"He came back," Yuchan responds.

"Who?"

"Ji Hansol"

"Shhhh" Gwangsuk throws a marker at his indiscreet friend "he can hear us"

"Who is him? I don't understand" Jun has a slight suspicion that he finally knows the name of THE boy, but still needs to confirm it.

"Ji Hansol, is that person who has just entered the room" Euijin reaffirms all his doubts.

Ji Hansol. His name is Ji Hansol. But...

"How do you know his name? isn't he a new student?"

Yuchan turns around again "He was our partner before you came, but he left school because ... he's crazy" he gestures to his temple.

"Don't say that, he is not crazy" Gwangsuk tries to defend him "he just ..."

"Okay, everyone open your books in chapter 5, page 120" The teacher interrupts right at a key moment. They all settle into their seats and dedicate themselves to paying attention to the class. Everyone, except Jun, who can not get his eyes off him ... Ji Hansol.

Those are the longest two hours of his life, Jun must admit that what he can least do is take notes or even concentrate on what is being explained in class. The only thing he does in those 120 minutes is to think, think and re-think. How should he continue? How should he approach Hansol? Would he still remember him? Jun really does not want Hansol to remember him as the person who saved his life. He simply wants to meet him, maybe be friends, they could have many things in common besides their height and share the same class. So at the moment the recess begins, he excuses himself with his friends when they invite him to lunch together. Jun lies in a pious way, telling them that he must remove some texts from the library and then go to look for notes of another subject. And even though they pretend to believe in their words, none of them do it because, Lee Junyoung is the most obvious person at the time of lying. But still, they leave, sure that Jun is planning a new encounter with that beautiful girl of 3rd year.

But Jun's plans are far from that.

He goes through the corridors of the first floor, hoping that fate will make him find Hansol again, this time, in a less dramatic way. It is then, when finally he finds it and sees him enter one of the baths of the place. He does not hesitate a second to follow in his footsteps. Surely, Hansol would be a little happy and confused to see him again, if he still remembered him. Jun enters the place and, to his good fortune, Hansol is in solitude, washing and drying his face in front of the sink. Jun breathes deep.

"Hello" speaks, managing to catch his attention. His big eyes look at him again. Jun notices a certain bewilderment in his face. Suppose it is something totally normal. Fate's chances came back to cross them in a different situation but equally surprising. Jun walks a few steps, trying to get close to him "It's crazy to meet you again, but I'm glad it's in this place" he smiles a little. His heart beats so fast, so rampant. He tries to calm down. He tries to break the ice in front of Hansol's gaze and silence. Jun gets a little closer "uhm ... Do you remember me?" he asks, afraid to hear a negative response.

"Yes" he speaks and although it is a simple monosyllable, Jun can finally hear his grave voice.

"Oh, great, I know that the first time we saw each other was a somewhat out of the ordinary situation, I thought maybe you forgot me"

Now it's Hansol who approaches him, staring at him. Jun has to admit that at times his look is somewhat chilling, but at the same time, it's exciting to see him walk to him.

Silence.

Jun smiles uncomfortably. What should He says now?

"I could never forget you" Hansol speaks again, this time much closer to Jun.

Jun sighs with relief "I'm glad to know-"

"I could never forget the person who ruined my life"

His words are like a bucket of ice water falling on him, taking him completely off guard.

Jun laughs nervously "What do you say, maybe you're confusing me with someone else ... I ..." He pauses and looks around, making sure no one else is there to hear him "I ... I saved you that night ... uhmm, do you remember? " he murmurs.

"Yes" Hansol responds immediately, still staring at him "Nobody asked you to do it"

"Huh? but I ..."

"Thanks to you now I have to live in this horrendous world, that I hate, that I detest, that destroys me every second. Didn't you think that if I was there that night, it was for something?"

"Of course, I did, but taking your own life is not the solution to the problems"

"And what do you know about life? What did you know about my life to try to solve it? Who do you think gave you the right to decide about others lives?"

"I ... I just wanted to help you"

"Sure, everyone wants that, all the good kids like you seek the satisfaction of feeling they are the heroes of the story, well, let me make things clear, you didn't save me, you destroyed what left of me, thanks to you, I'm dead in life. Congratulations! Hero"

And that's all he says before leaving. Before leaving Jun with a feeling he had never experienced in his life.

Was that the way pain felt?

Was Ji Hansol the first person to break the perfect world of Lee Junyoung?


	3. II

**PART 1**

YuChan enters the room trying to make as little noise as possible, taking care of the slight sleep that Jun usually has. However, by putting one foot inside, he finds his roommate, sitting on the bed, surrounding his knees flexed with his arms. Jun's hair is still wet, it looked fresh from a long shower. YuChan looks at him closely, his eyes are a little red and swollen and his concern expression speaks much more than he can imagine: something is not right with him, and YuChan knows it. They knew each other only 6 months ago, but Jun is so transparent, a positive and brilliant person, that seeing him like that, immersed in his world, with that anguished face, makes YuChan worry a lot.

YuChan leaves his coat and shoes in the entrance and approaches him "Hey, I thought you were sleeping," he says and sits on the edge of the bed. Jun doesn't even look at him. "What happens?" He asks and his answer doesn't take long to arrive.

"What do you do when you feel a horrendous pain in your chest that doesn't let you sleep?"

"... I go to the doctor, it could be a heart attack."

Finally, Jun looks at him "it's not a heart attack it's something else ... something more ... emotional"

"Oh ... uhm ... anguish ... sadness ... pain ... something like that?"

"Yes..."

YuChan doesn't understand what he is trying to say with all of this so suddenly, but it seems to be something that kept him awake "Well, I try to fix what worries me so much, it all depends on each one, it makes me happy to dance or eat chocolates .. You know, those simple things that help you feel better, "he responds, trying to make his answer enought, but it seems that the situation is much deeper and can't be solved with a chocolate bar.

"Do you think that death is the solution to the problems of life?"

"Are you talking about suicide?" YuChan asks a bit overwhelmed. Jun agrees, then YuChan doesn't hesitate to answer "Of course not, all the problems have a solution and kill yourself is not one of them ... but ... why do you ask that?"

"What do you do when you think you've made a big mistake and don't know how to fix it?"

"Why are you asking me so many questions ?!" YuChan begins to get exasperated.

"Because I have never experienced such a situation in my life and I don't know what to do!" Jun cries in anguish.

"Okaaay, but if you don't tell me what is exactly happening to you, how do you want me to help you?"

Jun sighs "I can't tell you ..."

".... Why?". Jun is silent. Now it's YuChan the one who sighs. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, although... it's really strange to see you like that, because you're always a happy and enthusiastic person ...So, if someone tells you or thinks otherwise, you should show them they're wrong, maybe you can even spread a bit of your 'spark' to someone who needs it. " patts his shoulder "You know you can always count on me, Euijin or Gwangsuk, okay?"

Jun nods "Thank you" he says and he lies down on his bed, covering himself to the head.

Maybe YuChan is right, Jun thinks. Maybe he shouldn't let Hansol's words hurt him that way. Maybe he should prove otherwise. From the night when life crossed them, until that day of the uncomfortable reunion, Jun never stopped to thinking about him and wondering how he was. The intrigue of knowing how he had followed his story, had sometimes left him adrift, floating in thoughts full of good wishes and a future where Hansol was finally happy and would never have the need to stand on the edge of that cornice again. So, if during those 6 long months, Jun felt that pleasant empathy with him, why would he change now that he knew a part of his story? Why should he leave him alone when clearly, Hansol needed him the most? And Jun knows very well that, behind all those hard and hurtful words, there is a person with a broken soul. As much as Hansol is convinced to claiming that his life was ruined by a complete stranger, the only one who seems to want to ruin everything is himself, perhaps because there is still a very large wound that he can't close, perhaps because his backpack from the past is still very heavy, perhaps because he is lost in the present, without knowing how to continue. No matter the reason, Jun is sure that Hansol deserves a lot more than he can even imagine. Jun now understands that hurtful phrase that he had thrown like a dagger in search of his victim: 'I am dead in life', Hansol said that day. And of course he was! He feels dead inside because he believes that the world is horrible and tedious, because he sees his own life as a burden. Hansol needs a reason to change that thought, he needs a "spark" to make his path shines. Jun can't say that he will be that 'spark', but he is sure he wants to find it. He wants to see Hansol away from the darkness. Jun doesn't want to save him again from that ledge but to keep him far, far away from there.

The morning arrived and it found him renewed, with a new vision of how he should continue.

"Do you feel better?" YuChan asks as they walk towards the first class.

Jun smiles bright as usual "Yes, thanks for the advice last night"

YuChan shrugs "That's what friends are for ... even if it sounds pretty cliché"

"Uhm .. Can I ask you something?"

"uhm... What?"

"Who were you studying with last night?"

YuChan is silent for a few long seconds "A guy from another class"

"Yeah... sure!"

"It's true!"

"Sorry but I don't believe you.."

"Well, Don't do it!"

Both enter the classroom while laughing loudly and everyone is aware of his presence thanks to his scandalous appearance in the room. Undoubtedly, they are the most noisy people in the class and that seems to bother several people ... including Hansol, who has to take his eyes off his reading to hear the loudy voices and laughter of Jun and YuChan. Hansol Sighs and closes the book. He looks at Jun. Jun is so bright and cheerful, so Hansol can not help but be surprised. Seemed like his hurtful words from the previous day didn't hurt him even a bit but had strengthened him a lot. How was that possible? How could a person manage to be impervious to a shower of accusations and reproaches as dark as the ones Hansol had thrown at him the day before?

He's so annoying. That's all Hansol can think about Jun.

Jun is definitely a nuisance in his life.

* * *

**PART 2**

The departure time arrives and everyone continues with their daily activities which include group outings touring the wonderful city of Sinchon that seems never to sleep. Karaokes, bars, pojangmacha, lights, noise and fun, are the simple things that any university student could enjoy after a long day of studies. Anyone ... except Hansol.

After a long day of part-time work (where he serves a small but busy Sinchon's coffee shop) and a long day of studies, Hansol is relieved to see that the night has finally arrived and he is alone, enjoying a delicious sandwich, under a starry night, sitting in the grass of that big park of the university. Needless to say, Hansol's life is not as easy as that situation that seems normal and ordinary. In truth, when he's alone, it's the time of day where he can be free to be sad. When he's alone, he can cry, he can take off from his chest that enormous anguish that at times leaves him without air. When Hansol's alone, he can curse himself, he can blame himself for all those things he has done wrong, for all those things he had never done, and for all those things he would surely do in the future and for which he would end up feeling miserable. It's a difficult situation to explain with words, especially when the person on the other side never suffered something similar, but depression is just like that .... is silent, a liar and a big time bomb ready to explode at any time. People, perhaps, seeing him there, in college, studying and also being a good employee in his part-time job, would think that everything in Hansol's life is going perfectly. But those are nothing but false screens, obligations, things that he must do to preserve his sanity, to continue, to live. His body hurts to keep trying something to which he can't find an explanation, something that doesn't make sense to him. At times, Hansol loves to close his eyes and imagine that it's the end of everything, that nothing is going to affect him or hurt him anymore. That darkness where he lives is something that he carries inside, that he can't bring out in the way he would like. It's the world that he is used to walk in, waiting for everything to come to an end as soon as possible. And that's the part where the meddlesome boy enters in his story, like a whirlwind, pulling on his jacket at the exactly moment Hansol thought he was already free of all that pain that disturbed him. He remembers that moment where everything changed in his life and takes a deep breath. Hansol closes his eyes and wait. 

"Hello"

Hansol hears a voice.

That voice.

He opens his eyes and there he is, with a half smile on his face, sitting in front of him, with a bag of fast food in one hand and a glass of soda in the other.

Hansol closes his eyes again, hoping that when he opened them anew, Jun had already disappeared. But nevertheless...

"What are you eating?" Jun asks, looking curiously at the sandwich that Hansol holds in his hands. "Is it cheese? Oh, I like cheese, but I prefer it with a hamburger." Hansol opens his eyes and looks at him fixedly in silent so Jun smiles "Did anyone ever tell you that when you look at people like this, they are afraid of you?" Hansol doesn't flinch at his words and keeps looking at him in the same way, almost threateningly. "Uhm... well, I'm not afraid of anything... or anyone" he says with a huge smile on his face as he opens his bag and pulls a huge hamburger from it.

WAIT A MINUTE.  
IS HE PREPARING TO EAT THERE, NEXT TO HIM?!?!?!

Hansol begins to count to 10 inside.

...... 1 ... 2 ... Jun extends his hamburger in front of him... 3 .. 4 ... smiles ... 5 ... 6 .... and asks "Do you want a little? "... 10!

That's enought. Hansol takes his things and gets up. He starts to walk away, but Jun is so insistent that he follows in his footsteps.

"Hey! Hansol! Wait!"

Does He also know his name? Did he send him to investigate? What kind of crazy stalker is he?

"Hansol!" He stops in front of him, forcing him to stop his steps "Don't leave, if you don't want this hamburger, I have another one in my bag"

Hansol stares at him and thinks... Really? he can not believe it. "Why are you doing this?" asks and finally speaks.

"Because ... I want to help you ..."

"What do I have to do to make you understand that I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP?"

"Ok, No. I won't help you at all"

"Thanks, now leave me alone. bye." Hansol tries return on his path, but ... Jun starts walking beside him, eating his hamburger and sipping his soda. Hansol stops his steps and looks at him "What do you want?" asks anoying.

Jun shrugs "Nothing"

"So?"

"What?"

"Why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you, Ii'm going along with you, it's different," Jun says and bites his food again.

Hansol can't believe this situation is real. Has this person come to his life to ruin everything? "Go away," he said.

"Do you live in the bedrooms?" Jun asks.

"I'm saying I want you to leave now." Hansol is losing his patience.

"I also live in the bedrooms, on the second floor, room 94. In case you ever need anything," Jun says and smiles again.

"Are you kidding me, right? Are you the typical bully of the class who wants to harass the one who believes he's weakest?"

Jun begins to laugh out loud, so much that he almost spits out his soda "What do you say? I'm being friendly with you, I don't want to hit you or those things"

"Friendly?"

"Uhmm, yes?"

Hansol makes a long pause, while watching him devour his hamburger "Didn't you hear what I told you yesterday? You are the person I would least like to see in my life, maybe, the one I would never want to see again. Do you understand that?"

Jun nods "Yes"

"So?"

"Well i don't think the same of you" he confess "you are the person I would like to approach and know the most."

"what?!"

Jun nods again "That's crazy, right?" he smiles.

"No. It's not crazy, it's stupid"

"Stupid persons make stupid things, I don't think I'm stupid for wanting to be your friend"

Hansol turns around and keeps walking. He does not have the time or want to continue listening to him.

"Hey, wait, Hansol!" and there he goes again, blocking his way "Jun" says and extend his hand.

Hansol looks at him without understanding and obviously rejecting his greeting.

"My name is Jun. Lee JunYoung and you are going to see me very often ... maybe too much. So... See you?"

"I hope not" Hansol says, true to his cold boy instinct.

"Well, I hope yes" Jun smiles AGAIN before leaving.

Hansol continues on his way, feeling the same as always, but with the difference that now he knows what is the name of that person that makes him feel stuck and at a crossroads between life and death: Lee JunYoung 


	4. III

**PART 1**

9:30 a.m. Jun walks through the cold corridors of the university while he doesn't stop yawning. For some reason (maybe too obvious) he couldn't sleep well the night before. The huge windows in his right, show the huge park surrounding the building and there, as all the times where he had appeared in his life, thanks to these great coincidences of fate, is Hansol, sitting on one of the benches, immersed in reading the little book he holds in his hands. Jun can't avoid approaching the window to watch him. From that distant and inadvertent point of view, Hansol looks almost like an angel, with the rays of the sun illuminating his face and the slow breeze that moves his messy hair. Jun can not help but smile. Hansol, in his natural state, is adorable and that voices inside Jun seems like doesn't get tired of repeating it, again and again, until he completely get lost it in his thoughts, in another reality, far, far away from that huge place.

Jun hears someone cough by his side. He almost scream when he turns around and sees his three friends, watching him carefully, with the typical gesture of mockery that they use every time they found him in some (somewhat) ridiculous situation.

"W-what are you doing?" Jun asks trying to hide the fact that he has been standing at that spot for at least 15 minutes, thinking about the rays of sun, the slow breeze, Hansol and his messy hair.

"What are you looking out there?" Gwangsuk asks as he also looks out the window.

"What's new and interesting in the park? Huh?" Euijin also looks out the window, unable to see anything extraordinary.

"I only see that crazy guy sittin-" Yuchan stops his words as he feels Gwangsuk's elbow in his ribs.

"Don't call him 'crazy guy', it's not funny" Gwangsuk scolds him, after the little knock.

"Why do you call him like that?" Jun asks with a lot of curiosity, although at the same time, he suspects the reason for that nickname.

"You were looking at him?" Yuchan insists.

"No, no ..." he pauses and sighs when he sees that no one believes in his words. Jun looks back at Hansol "I don't know, he's a ... strange person"

"Pfff, just strange?"

"YuChan!" Euijin and Gwangsuk scream at the same time. Euijin sighs "He's not strange, just that his life is difficult, maybe that's why he's so quiet."

"I would like to know what happened to him" Jun admits.

"Hey, it's true, you weren't here at that moment ..." Gwangsuk begins to remember what had happened a few months ago. "Uhmm ... Well, Ji Hansol was quite normal before, I mean, he always was quiet and a little shy ..."

"Before, he wasn't scary and didin't look like a zombie" Yuchan interrupts him, because he can't contain his desire to speak, all the time.

Gwangsuk sighs and continues "... he had a group of friends in college, but he used to get together with other people outside of this place ... Anyways, he didn't come to class, he disappeared for 3 weeks. He wasn't the same, his gaze was totally lost, he stopped talking to the few people around him, he didn't look really good at all, but he also didn't let anyone come close to him and ask what had happened. Time later, we found out he had suffered an accident while driving down the road. But that was all we knew. I suppose it was the reason why he completely changed "

"An accident?" Jun asks still a bit confused

"Yes, but there's more" Euijin continues with the story "After we hearing about the accident, Hansol went away again due to health problems. Unfortunately those supposed health problems weren't what we all believed and actually he had tried to kill himself. We never knew what happened, but luckily he couldn't do it "

"That's right, and so that's when he dissapeared 6 months, until this week, when he finally came back" Gwangsuk looks at Hansol again "Despite that, I think he looks a little better, maybe he finally found a reason to continue"

"Or maybe it's very good hiding what really happens to him" Euijin speaks and everyone agrees, except Jun, who can't stop looking through the window.

From that place, Hansol looks like an angel, that's what he thought before knowing a little bit more of his history. However, now Jun can see things from another perspective. Now he understands that in truth, from that distance he can only see the same thing that everyone sees. In the distance, the wounds are invisible, the pain of the soul is imperceptible. In the distance, Hansol is a strong person for those who know him, and a strange person for those who are coming to his life. But up close, in that little world that Hansol has been in charge of hiding and cloistering, his flaws, his fears and his monsters are the owners of that life that he once tried to end.

Without saying anything else about that, they begin to walk towards their daily routine. When the classes begin, Jun finds himself immersed in a parallel universe, where he never stops creating and planning his next movement. Which will be the next step to reach Hansol? And so he remains, throughout the day, where he divides himself into two: a part of him appears to be the same Jun as always, while the other half of him is only thinking in the possible strategy to follow. At the end of the day, Jun contemplates each of Hansol's movements, in silence.

"Jun" Gwangsuk touches his shoulder "We'll go to the library to find the books we need for the next project, then we'll buy Pizzas and have dinner in the room. Good plan, huh? let's go!"

"I-" Jun pauses and looks up. He sees Hansol leaving the place "I'll go later, I have something to do before"

"What is more important than your friends?" Yuchan murmurs.

"i'll met you all later! I promise you!" He says and takes his backpack while he gets up and leaves the classroom.

Jun needs to enter that world, that dark place where Hansol and all his ghosts live. He needs to show him that his life can return to what it was once. No matter how traumatic his past was, there was the possibility of a new beginning, new dreams, new goals. Jun knows it won't be easy, but he would get closer no matter how.

Watching Hansol from the distance is not in Jun's plans.

* * *

**PART 2**

6:30 pm. The day at the university has ended. Hansol sighs in relief. Not only did he get good grades on the history test, but he also managed to stay away from Lee Junyoung during all day. Hansol constantly denied himself that his presence could affect him, however he always ends up working out a plan to avoid him in those 9 hours. It's something difficult, since Jun seems to be someone really popular among the different groups of the different classes which Hansol attends.

_"Lee Junyoung got the highest rating"_

_"Lee Junyoung's work was chosen as the best"_

_"Lee Junyoung sure has many candidates, I heard that he is in a relationship with a third-year girl"_

_"Lee Junyoung hyung"_

_"Lee Junyoung sunbaenim"_

_"Junyoung oppa"_

He lies back in his class bank dramatically. Lee Junyoung is like those ridiculous TV commercials that you hate, but you can't get out of your head, with their stupid melody and radiant colors, which feign to sell the most impressive thing of the universe and that people consume just because everyone does. Everyone, except Hansol. Hansol hates those TV commercials and there is a chance among a million that he would be dazzled by misleading advertising. Because that's what Jun is for him: a scam, a pre-view to that world full of flowers and success that everyone wanted to get. And (according to his criteria) luckily he doesn't have that target of desires in life. Hansol doesn't want a heartthrob by his side... in fact, he wants to have him far, far away from him. Having Jun close only makes him feel more miserable. Let's use this example: When you are sleeping, peacefully, in the comfort of your bed, in total darkness, in absolute silence, with the peace that implies that moment of loneliness where the reality doesn't hit you and your mind seems to give you a break turning off your systems and making you forget about your problems ... suddenly, someone interrupts that complete state of stillness, to open the window and a huge ray of sunlight hits your face, forcing you to open your eyes, forcing you to wake up abruptly without even asking permission.

\- Hansol's depression was that dream state.

\- Jun was that ray of sun that burst into his life with high expectations of filling the dark space with light and warmth.

What comes in that situation? Yes, get up and close the window to go back to sleep. That's exactly the plan that Hansol wants to follow, because he is 100% sure that he doesn't need Jun and his phrases taken from some fortune cookie that he bought in the market. Hansol doesn't want anyone to wake him up from that deep sleep, he doesn't want anyone to feel with the right to illuminate his darkness like that, as if he were a child forced to finish eating his plate of vegetables. Lee Junyoung knew how to break into his world once, completely changing his plans. Hansol is sure he wouldn't let him win again.

Hansol keeps his things and looks at the clock. He must be at his work place in less than half an hour. The routine no longer affects him, but it is something that he usually overlooks, as if he existed only by inertia. There are days when fatigue seems to completely win without having made any effort more than breathe and walk to the places he knew should go. And that's one of those days, where his body seems to be on autopilot, doing all the work for him. The streets of Sinchon are a whirlwind of lights, noises and people making as much noise as possible. Hansol leaves his things in the small wardrobe of that busy coffee shop where he works only a month ago.

"You came earlier than ever" Hojung says when he sees him approaching the kitchen. He is cutting a huge portion of chocolate cake.

Hansol nods "Where do I start?" he asks and knots his apron around his waist.

Hojung looks at the reception. There are small tables of ocher color, with details in warm colors that give that homely touch to the place that Hansol has adopted as part of that imperceptible routine. "Your friend is waiting for you a while ago"

Hansol turns around and sees Ten, very focused watching the screen of his cell phone. He nods and approaches him. "Do you want the same as always?" he asks, making him return to the reality.

"Hansol" Ten smiles "I was waiting for you"

"Me?" he asks as he dries a small ceramic cup.

"Uhm, yesterday when we talked on the phone, I noticed you very strange, so I wanted to come and see you and cheek if everything is going fine"

"Yes, everything is fine"

Ten sighs "10 years" says, looking straight into Hansol's eyes "that's the time we've been friends, right?" Hansol just nodds, without says anything "So why do you think I still don't know you?"

"I don't know what you want me to say"

"It's not what I want, it's what you feel"

"I'm alive, Ten! don't you see me? Doesn't that make you happy? Doesn't it means to you that everything is just fine?"

"It would be selfish of me to believe that everything is fine in your life, just because I can keep you by my side, don't you think?"

"I'm not going to start this talk again" Hansol strongly says and leaves to make that tea Ten loves the most. He returns and places the cup in front of him. "Ten... I don't need anything, I'm really fine"

Ten knows that he is lying, as he had always done since that day when his life exploded into a thousand pieces. If he wouldn't known him since childhood, maybe he would believe that 'I'm-fine' script that Hansol always repeats, over and over again. But is not the case. Hansol is still broken inside and Ten's blood freezes from just thinking that his phone could ring again, at 3am, with the sound of ambulances in the background and an unknown voice saying that something bad had happened to his best Friend, especially when Ten realizes that maybe, if that next time exists, there will not be a second chance, transforming all the moments they lived together, into painful memories. Ten knows that there is no possibility that the guardian angel who saved Hansol once, will do it again.

"I didn't know I would find you here" Ten listens to the voice of that person who just arrives at the place and sits next to him. He looks up when he sees Hansol almost throwing the cup that is drying with such dedication.

"What are you doing here?" Hansol asks him and the tone of his voice is completely changed.

Ten can't help but turn to his right to see him. The boy is tall, he could know it even while he's sitting. His brown hair, his warm smile and his bright eyes, are completely the antithesis of Hansol.

The boy looks around when he hears Hansol's question "It's a coffee shop, so I guess I'm here to have a coffee"

"I don't have time for your stupid-"

He takes the menu that is next to Ten "Let's see, what do you recommend me?" he asks, interrupting him and ignoring the threatening tone in his voice.

Ten laughs softly. Hansol's face is red and it's not red because of shame but fury. He has to admit that he doesn't see him like that from a long time ago. As much as that boy seems to bother him enough, seeing Hansol outsideof his comfort zone, where you never know what he feels or thinks, is relieving in some way.

"Lee Junyoung!" Hansol says his name and for some reason, Ten is familiar with it. Then he remembers that Hansol had mention him the night before, while they talked on the phone.

"What's wrong Ji Hansol?" Jun asks without taking his eyes off the menu, with an incredible calm in his voice.

"Go away" he answers.

"I invite you" Ten speaks surprisingly, in front of the astonished look of Hansol "The cappuccino that Hansol prepares is excellent, you should try it" he says to Jun.

Without understanding what Ten's plan is and somewhat shocked by the unforeseen presence of Jun in the place, Hansol does nothing more than turn around and continue with his work, away from those two people.

Jun sighs when he sees him walking away.

"He's a difficult person" Ten speaks again "But it's not impossible to approach him"

"Do you know him?" Jun asks with a lot of curiosity in his voice.

"10 years ago" Ten he says and takes a last sip of his hot drink.

"So ... maybe you can help me to know him or get close to him?"

"Why would I help a stranger to get close to my best friend?"

"Because I'm not a stranger in his life, or at least I want to be a little less strange, maybe?"

Ten smiles at the clumsiness of his words. Jun really doesn't look like a stalker, serial killer and to be honest, he's the first person to get close to Hansol and manage to provoke something in him, even if it was anger. "Well," Ten says and pulls out a pen from his backpack. Take a napkin and write your number. "Call me or send me a message tomorrow, only if you are sure and accept the consequences this could bring." He gives the paper to Jun "I don't promise you I can help you get closer to him, he may even stay away from me for talking to you, however, something tells me you're a good opportunity "

"Opotunity for what?"

"To save Hansol"


	5. IV

**PART 1**

The night is eternal. YuChan, Euijin and Gwangsuk enjoy their fun meeting camouflaged under the title of 'a studying gathering' (something that they precisely DON'T do) while they eat, drink and talk about many topics really important to them, like trying to find out who is that mysterious person with whom YuChan seems to meet very often, without tell them. However, in the middle of that noisy and daily environment, is Jun, submerged (again) in his world. To be honest, he can never concentrate on any of the things that his friends say that night, but he only smiles and enojoy the moment as much as he can, trying not to be too obvious, trying to make his physical presence stronger than his mental absence. And so it is.  
The morning arrives and Jun finds himself still awake, surrounded by three people deeply asleep, while he plays the role of zombie, someting just usual in those last days. Jun sighs and closes his eyes tightly. He has wanted to be able to get close to Hansol, he wanted to know him and know more about his life, but today, having the opportunity, he feels fear and doubts. Jun knows if he doesn't catch this opportunity, he probably regrets. And it's funny to think about the way the humans usually function. We fight for the truth in endless judgments, We feel anguish and the lie bothers us when we discover it, we hate those secrets that when they come to light destroy us ... But even so, when the truth is not what we expected, when we feel that reality can hit us so hard and hurt us, we usually prefer not to find the truth. We usually close our eyes tightly and wait for the impact, we don't want to see, we don't want to know the face of truth. And that's how Jun feels in those moments ... With his eyes closed, clinging to the comfort of his bed, thinking that maybe he's not ready to know Hansol's true story yet. He looks at the ceiling.

What should he do?

  
Jun gets up from his bed, looks for the paper he keeps in the pocket of his worn jeans and go out into the corridor, trying to make as little noise as possible to doesn't wake up anyone up. Maybe the morning cold will help him think. Sitting on the floor, he watches the clock on his cell phone. It's 8am. Maybe he should think about it a bit more before sending a message to that mysterious friend of Hansol who promises to tell him everything he wants to know, warning about the consequences that could bring getting too much information. Jun sighs. He really cares about Hansol, he wants to help him in any possible way, but... what would happen if that story that person has to tell him was something he might not want to hear? What would happen if there was no solution to the problem that hurt Hansol so much? Would he be willing to resign oneself? Was he ready to hear the truth?

Jun begins to remember that night, that cold running through his body when he saw that unknown person on the edge of the abyss, but also he remember that fire invading him, encouraging him to run for Hansol's life. Unconsciously this situation is not too far from that one. Jun understands that cold and fear can paralyze him, but the fire and courage force him to continue. And it's incredible to say, but Jun has never felt something like this in his life. He never had the need to choose between staying immobile in the same place or running. Life has never presented him this kind of choices .... Until now. Until Hansol came to his life and Jun is sure it's a sign of destiny.  
So he finally dials the phone number without thinking it twice and it takes a very little time to listen the voice on the other side.

  
"Hello?"

"Hello"

"Uhm, I don't have your number, who are you?"

"I'm Lee JunYoung, you gave me your number yesterday ... you said I could save Hansol, so ... here I am, tell me what to do," he says firmly and confidently.

"Did you notice what time it is?" Ten ask and he self-answer "it's 8am, couldn't you sleep thinking about Hansol?"

  
"Maybe" Jun confesses and sighs again "Just tell me how I should continue"

  
"I'll tell you," he pauses and think a little "but personally, see you at 10, is it okay for you?"

  
Jun remembers that class which starts at 9:30. He hesitates only a few seconds, until he decides "It's okay, where?"

  
"I'm going to send you my address by message, it's not far from the cafe where Hansol works, but please just try to make sure he doesn't find out about this, okay?"

  
"I understand, see you ... uhmm, sorry but, I don't know your name"

  
"Ten. They call me, Ten ..."

  
"OK Ten, bye"

  
"Lee JunYoung" he names him before finishing the call "Why do you want to save Hansol so desperately?"

  
The question echoes in his mind and even his reply takes a little bit to come, but in fact he is too sure about the answer "Precisely that's what I don't want ... I don't want him to try it again ... I don't want him to come back to that decision ... I don't want to save him again" Jun says and ends the call, leaving Ten totally bewildered.

He goes back into the room and everything is still the same. His friends sleep without even suspecting what's happening not only at that moment but in Jun's life. And so he prefers it. He changes his clothes as fast as he can and leaves again. As he walks through the cold corridors of the university, his phone rings. Ten's message with the address of where they should meet has arrived. Jun puts on the hood of his jacket and continues on his way.

* * *

**PART 2**

Floor 5. Department 31. Jun stops in front of the black door, breathes deep before ring the bell and once he does, he knows there is no going back. Ten takes a few seconds to open the door.

  
"Hi!" he says and smiles a little.

  
Jun replied with the same gesture, he doesn't know what to say exactly.

  
"Come in" Ten invites him in and closes the door once they are both inside. Jun can see a large room, with black furniture and white walls. Ten walks to the kitchen table and takes a seat, holding a cup in his hands "Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?" Jun cordially rejects his invitation by moving his head from side to side, still standing at the side of the table. "Well, are you going to take a seat at least?"

"I only came for him" Jun says as he takes one of the chairs and sits down.

  
"I know, could there be another reason? We don't know each other, do we?"

  
"We don't"

  
Ten sips his drink and waits a few seconds to speak again. The atmosphere is somewhat uncomfortable and there are many things to say, so he starts with the most important one "Where did you meet Hansol?" Ten asks and Jun hesitates a few seconds, thinking if he should tell him the truth or just continue with his game of knowing absolutely nothing about Hansol but as soon as his answer takes a long time to come, Ten sighs"Without lies" he sentences.

"I met Hansol a Night that I was walking in Sinchon" is all he says.

  
Ten frowns "and why do you worry so much about a stranger who crossed your path?"

  
"We are college classmates"

  
Ten smiles with sarcasm "So... You were another one of that bunch of idiots that made fun of Hansol and now you feel guilty?"

  
"What? no! I'm not" Jun begins to get exasperated "I never hurt Hansol, I arrived a few months ago at the university ... I was not there when ..." he pauses.

"... they told you what happened" Ten interrupts him and affirms so he returns to take a sip of his drink "... was expected, anyways" he gets up from his seat "I really thought you were someone more special, who could help, but ... maybe I was wrong. I'm sorry if I've wasted your time, I'll accompany you to the door" He says and start walking towards the door.

  
Jun stays immobile in his place. He understands Ten tries to protect Hansol and he is a complete stranger, however he can't leave like this, with his mind about to explode and all his questions unanswered. So he decides to speak honestly "I saved Hansol when he was about to jump from the roof of that building in Sinchon"

  
Ten feels as if a grenade has exploded behind him. Turn around to look at him. Jun is still sitting in the same place, pressing his knees with his hands, immersed in all the memories of that night. Ten approaches him and takes him by the shoulder "you?" He asks and can't keep his eyes from filling with tears "was it you?" Jun just nodded. "But... were you with him?"

"No. I was just walking through Sinchon when I saw him and ..." is interrupted by a hug from Ten.

"Thanks" he says almost in a whisper, still shocked.

  
Jun pushes him away slowly "I just need to know what I should do to avert that situation happens again, I don't want to save him from that ledge, do you understand? I want him to be away from there or from any place where he could harm himself" sighs "I need you to tell me what happened in his life, why did he take that decision? I need you to help me to understand ..."

  
Ten nods and moves away. He walks to one of the furniture in the living room and pulls out a small white box. He returns to his place in the chair in front of Jun and takes a deep breath "I swear that the Hansol you saw that night and the Hansol that you see every day, are nothing of what he always was and he is in truth" begins the story "We have known each other since our childhood, we both lived in Busan, he was born there, I was born in Thailand, and when he arrived, Hansol was practically my first friend. "He says and opens the box taking a picture. He leaves it on the table at his side. In that old picture, there are two children smiling and hugging each other.

Seeing those big eyes, Jun knows who is one of them "Hansol" says looking at the photo and can not help but smile. It's kind of strange to say that but it was the first time he saw Hansol smiling.

  
Ten happily nods "We were very happy, when we turned 18 we move to this city, Hansol's parents were always very conservative, his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps and be police chief. His mother also insisted that he should be a doctor like her, but Hansol always liked art, drawing, writing ... those things "

  
"I guess that's why he's always reading"

  
Ten has to ask "What does he read?"

  
Jun shrugs "I don't know exactly, he's always very focused on a red cover book that takes with him everywhere"

  
Ten looks down and sighs "It's someone else's favorite book"

  
Jun looks at him without understanding too much and observes him taking another picture that he leaves on the table. Jun feels something inside when he see it. It's like if from that moment on, the story had taken an unexpected turn, leaving him between the hesitation to get up and leave or stay and listen to something that (inexplicably) he doesn't want to hear.

Ten points to the person who hugs Hansol in the photograph "He's his boyfriend" says and he surely notes how Jun's expression completely changes. His warm and tender face suddenly disappear, showing a tense and bewildered expression on it. Even so, Ten continues with his story "They met in the building where they both lived, they were neighbors"

"What's his name?" Jun finally talks.

"Nakamoto Yuta" Ten affirms and returns to take another photo of them, where they both kiss. Jun feels a fire that wants to devour his inside. Ten continues "Yuta came to Sinchon for almost the same reason as Hansol. He also escaped from the rules imposed by his family over his future. His parents wanted him to continue with his grandfather's business legacy, while he just wanted to play football. Although he couldn't develop professionally in that sport here, it was the only place he found to stay and work, and I also think that when he met Hansol, he found another reason to stay " Ten picks up the photo and watches it "I guess it was love At first glance, I have never seen Hansol so in love ... I have never seen him in love with anyone than Yuta ... Even now, his love is still indestructible "

  
Jun gets up from his seat, almost by inertia, as if his body moved only by those impulses that his brain programmed and that voice from his inside that shouted 'enough'. "I don't really know why I'm here"

  
Ten looks at him without understanding "You said you wanted to help Hansol"

  
"Yes, I didn't come here to hear the stories about his ... boyfriend"

  
"I asked you if you were really ready to hear the truth ... And this" Ten takes the picture of Hansol with his boyfriend and brings it closer to Jun "this is the truth you should know"

  
Jun smiles sarcastically, "Did you really assemble all this situation just to indirectly tell me to stay away from him because he has a boyfriend?" asks and continues without let Ten answers his question "Listen, I don't have that kind of intentions or interests with Hansol, I just wanted to help him. I just worried for him the same way I would worry about any other person on the verge of suicide "

  
"Why do you talk in the past time? Don't you longer want to help him? Knowing that Hansol loves someone else makes you lose the desire to help him?" Ten asks, crossing his arms.

  
"It's not like that ... It's just ... I know what you're going to tell me and I can't help him with that"

  
"What do you think I'm going to say?"

  
"... that He got into a fight with his boyfriend and Hansol is depressed because of that, surely that idiot named Yuta broke his heart but he still loves him and I can't do anything about it! I'm not cupid who goes through life helping the couples to reconciliate!"

  
"Yuta died in an accident" Ten says and eliminates all his theories with a single sentence.

* * *

**PART 3**

Such an idiot.

This is how Jun feels when he hears those words from Ten.

A complete idiot.

He sits back in his place "He died?"

Ten throws a small sarcastic laugh "What's wrong? Did the news make you want to help Hansol?"

"It's not that, I just ... I never would imagined it"

"Nobody would've imagined it"

Jun bites his lips hard. He wants to know more but at the same time he feels that the details are not necessary.

"Their parents found out about their relationship and opposed it completely" Ten starts the story again "They even tried to force Hansol to return to Busan and Yuta to Osaka. So, when the situation was untenable, Hansol proposed to Yuta to escape together but the night they left. city ... " he pauses and his voice seems to break a little " ... The car simply lost control, no one can explain what happened ... Until today, Hansol only remembers the car hitting the road verge, and the moment when he woke up the next day at the hospital ... without Yuta "  
"Then that accident ..."

"Hansol tried to continue with his life, but nothing was the same, he never stopped blaming himself, he always said that if it wasn't for him, Yuta would still be here"

"Was that the reason why he tried to do what he did that night?"

Ten nods "The huge depression he entered was stronger than him"

"I" Jun doesn't know what to say, so he just tries to let go the first thing that goes through his mind "I'm sorry"

"I need to know" Ten's steady gaze went straight to his eyes "I need to know why you saved Hansol that night"

"I do not know, I just ... I just felt like I should do it"

"Why?"

"I do not know!"

"Did you look for him after that?"

"No but..."

"But?"

"I never stopped worrying about him, I always wanted to know how he was, how he had continued with his life ... Until one day he appeared in front of me unforeseen ... He entered the same class as me. I thought he would be happy to see me" Jun he pauses and sighs "however he said he hated me for saving him, that I ruined his life and he didn't want to see me again"

Ten looks at him surprised "Hansol told you that ... and you still insist on approaching him?" Jun just nodded to his question "Why?"

"I- ... I don't know"

So, Ten remembers the afternoon of the previous day. He remembers Hansol furious, trying to get Jun away from that place, while he remained immune to his words, as if nothing and no one could stop him from being there ... close to Hansol. If they had asked him a few minutes ago, Ten would have say he regretted telling those things to a complete stranger. However, at that moment, he knows that his intuition wasn't wrong at all.

Jun hadn't only appeared in Hansol's life at the precise moment, but despite of not knowing anything about him, he never stopped worrying and wishing he was well. Jun not only accepted all those harsh words from Hansol, but far from feeling hurt and offended, he looked for differents ways to continue approaching him in any way possible, even accepting a meeting with a stranger who promised to give him the necessary information to helps him. Jun says he doesn't know why he worries so much about Hansol, but Ten could see how his world almost fell apart the moment he saw him with someone else. Jun seems to be oblivious to his own emotions, as if he had never experienced them, as if he were just beginning to live ... And precisely that is the piece that perfectly complemented with the dark and turbulent world of Hansol.

It's at that moment when Ten understands it. The destiny has been responsible for finding each lost pieces and now they just have to re-build the way forward. But that isn't his job anymore.

Now it's Hansol's turn.

Now it's Jun's turn.

"I think you will find the answer to each of your actions over time " Ten says and take the small white box between his hands. He extends it in front of Jun "Can you keep this?" And his question surprised him.

"Me? ... No ... I can't ... It's yours ... It's from Hansol ..."

"This box always represented the Hansol that once existed ... maybe it will help you to find him"

And with that phrase in his mind (and the little box in his backpack) Jun walks back to the university, without transport, no hurry. Just walks, wishing that the cold wind could freeze his thoughts for a moment. There is too much information that he must process. And to be honest, Jun doesn't know where to start.  
First, he thinks of Hansol and his life hit by tragedy. He can understand the reason why Hansol did what he did and although nothing justifies the fact that he has tried to kill himself, maybe Jun can understand it. Perhaps now he feels a little bit closer to him.  
Lastly, Jun thinks about his actions. Thinks of those times when Ten asked him, why he did that? Why he worried so much for Hansol? and although his answer was always uncertain, there is something inside him that seems to want to shout, talk, express himself in some way. The moment he saw Hansol next to that boy, so happy, so in love ... something inside him seemed to surrender, he seemed angry and even jealous. But when he knew the truth, those same feelings turned into doubt, fear and insecurity. Jun sighs... what are those kinds of emotions that press on his chest? Why imagine and see Hansol in love with someone else makes him feel that way?

When he finally arrives at the university, he turns on his phone and finds at least 20 missed calls and 40 messages from YuChan, Euijin and Gwangsuk. It's almost 2pm and his stomach is roaring with hunger. Then, as usual, Hansol appears, in the distance, so far and so close. Jun looks at him, he's reading that red cover book again and now that he knows the story behind that book, he can't help feeling like this ... angry, sad, anxious ...

According to Ten, that little box that now he keeps in his backpack, is the Hansol that Jun has to find again, but he isn't really sure about that. Jun doesn't want to find that old Hansol again, the one who clings to a book, to a guilty memory, to a tragic love. Jun wants to see a new Hansol, someone who could live with the wounds of life, someone that only he and no one else could know from the beginning to end.

Ten's question echoes in his mind again 'Why did you save Hansol that night?'

And maybe the answer was a simple unconscious act of his own life ... maybe that night, Jun had not only saved Hansol, but he had also saved himself.


	6. V

**PART 1**

The cold and loneliness of that huge office, do nothing but bring back memories of his childhood. Jun moves his fingers impatiently on the desk in front of him. It's 7 pm and he's there since 6:15 pm. His father's bad habits remains intact. He looks around to find an elegant picture frame that has a formal family photo. Then, remember how strict his life has been in so many ways. Jun was only 7 years old when he spent his whole afternoons sitting in the huge black armchair in that same office, looking at his father having long (and impossible to understand) talks with imposing men in suits, who used to speak in other languages. At that moment for him, visits his father's work place, were completely normal and even at some point he used to believe that were 'interesting'. In his innocent childish world, going to that office was a family outing. However now, precisely at this point of his life, he begins to realize the truth hidden behind so many memories and today he finally understands why he always had everything he wanted and still felt that emptiness inside him. When he was a little kid with fluffy cheeks, could have everything that money could buy to fill that blank space that the absence of their parents left on him. But Jun was never affected at the time. Jun never felt that lack of affection, interest and love, until he came to Sinchon and his life took a totally unexpected way.

"I'm sorry" his father's voice is heard behind his back. Jun turns around to see him, believing that this small apology is for him, however he sees his father enter the room and he's very busy, holding the phone with one hand and his suitcase with the other. "I'm really sorry," he repeats as he continues his telephone conversation and sits down in the seat behind the desk in front of Jun. "I promise the documents will be ready for this afternoon, I know- I know- It's a business that can't wait, there are several European buyers interested too, but this time we won't let them overcome us with the offer, of course, we will have everything ready for today. Thank you, Goodbye " He ends the call and starts writing a few notes on his papers.

Jun sighs angrily. Is he invisible?

"You have to comeback" His father says without even looking into his eyes and continuing with his work.

"Hello, I'm fine, thanks."

He looks up when he notices the sarcasm in Jun's words "Are you still thinking all this is funny?"

"What do you mean by 'all this?'

"Why are you making everything so difficult?"

His father hits the desk with strength "I did not give you the best to you pay me this way"

"So you're assuming that I should pay your absence in my life being your employee, if it's so, there's no deal"

"What absence are you talking about? You always had everything you wanted, you always had the best things, you went to the best schools, you knew the whole world with only 22 years old! What do you want? What else do you need?"

"Nothing, from now, I don't need anything that comes from you"

"You are so ungrateful"

"If I am, then why do you want me back?"

His father sighs trying to contain his nerves "This company is your legacy! By running away from this you're not thinking about your future! Tell me what are you going to do. you're nothing but a whimsical brat"

Jun shrugs. Sincerely, he doesn't have a concrete answer for that question, but he will find some way to survive without him.

"I'm asking you in a good way ..."

Jun smiles sarcastically "Is this what you call a 'good way'?"

His father pauses for a long time. Silence takes over the moment for several seconds, so he takes a deep breath "if you're planing to act the same way as always... Why did you accept to have a meet with me?"

"I came here to make a deal"

"A deal?" He started to laugh "Do you want to make a deal with me?"

"Are we going to continue talking with questions without answers?"

Jun nods "I'm not going to comeback now, I need to stay for a while in Sinchon, but I need to do it without you chasing my steps, I need you to leave me alone ... I don't think it will be so hard for you, right? i mean, it's what you always did"

"How long?" He asks, evading the reality of his absence exposed by Jun.

"One year"

He hits the desk insistently with his pen. Sighs "And what do I get in exchange for paying you a year of unfulfilled work?"

"I don't need you to give me extra money, just keep the university payment updated"

"And how do you plan to survive during a whole year without money?"

"That's not your problem"

His father frowns "I still don't understand what is my benefit in this deal"

"My promise is your benefit" Jun pauses before continuing to speak "When the year is fulfilled, I will return and I will take all my responsibilities in this company"

He stares at him. If there is anything he is sure of, is the kind of honest man he has raised. He knows that his son will keep his promise. "One year, not more, not less, a year or else I will go and look for you... and you won't like to know how I can get you back to fulfill your word ... you know it"

Jun nods and gets up from his seat "See you in a year," he says as he goes out with his hands in the pockets of his jacket "By the way, I'll go home to take my car"

"I don't have any intention to send you money for the car maintenance"

"I already told you that my economy is not your problem, just keep the university payment updated if you want me to come back" Jun sentences without stopping walking.

"What is it the thing that makes you don't want to leave that stupid town?" His father speaks behind him.

Jun turns around "Something you could never understand" says and closes the door behind him, leaving that office full of memories ..... memories that make him even stronger.

* * *

**PARTE 2**

Hansol opens his eyes and remains motionless. It's one of those days where he doesn't want to get out of bed. One of those many days where he would prefer to sees life happen instead of going through it. He looks at the white ceiling of that little room at the university. He never wanted to have a roommate for that reason: Hansol needs to be alone for almost all day, but especially every morning when he wakes up and every night when he tries to sleep. These are the most difficult moments, maybe the ones that hurt him the most, the ones where he feels his absence the most. He closes his eyes tightly. There were many times when he wanted to forget, let go ... however with the pass of days, weeks and months, his memory seems to be growing stronger, as if with every second that passed, he could remember something new to add to his long list of missing parts. And if only at some point his world stopped to suffocating him, if at some point his mind stopped dragging him into the depths of that dreadful darkness that seemed to consume him, maybe only in that moment, he would let him go.

The alarm sounds again for the third time in the morning. It's the third warning that he will be late for classes, although in any case, attending today is not in his plans. There is a place he should visit first. A place that is much more important than taking seat in that classroom full of people that all they do is whisper behind his back and look at him as if he were a phenomenon.

Hansol gets up with the last forces that remain in him and dresses with the first clothes that appear in his way. Walk the busy corridors of the place, somewhat lost in his thoughts. He crosses the extensive park, with the slowness and the expression of a zombie, until arriving at the busy Sinchon streets. And he doesn't take a long the time to get to that building. That same building where he had lived in past years, with him.  
He enters and looks for the keys in his pocket while climbing the stairs. Floor 4. Room 26. Opens the door and closes it behind him. He sighs. Although the only light that enters the room is the daylight through the huge blind that led to the balcony, Hansol can see that everything is in the same place. Everything is like the last time he had managed to enter.

It's not easy.

It's not easy to comeback.

He surveys his back against the door, even without having the courage to take the first steps. From there he sees the messy chair, laden with clothes that are not his. The shelves of the library filled with mangas, comics, action figures and dust. Those football boots lying on the side of the television and that pile of papers with university jobs that never reached their destiny. It's inevitable not to feel him everywhere. It's inevitable to smell his fragrance, as if he were still there, speaking aloud, asking which would be the animé they would watch that night, making jokes about the names of the characters, smiling and repeating a thousand times how much he loved him.

It's not easy.

It's not easy to comeback.

Hansol has the courage to get up off the floor and walk to the couch. There was that white T-shirt he loved so much, the one Hansol had given him when he went on a study trip to Paris. He remembered how angry he was that day when Hansol told him they couldn't go together, because it was an exclusive trip for the students in his class. And even though it was only for a week, he felt that it was an eternity away from him. Hansol never thought that it would be possible the distanced could become a eternity reality. His eyes fill with tears that ended droping down his face. It hurts. Although it's been 6 months and a week, it hurts like the first day, like the first minute without his heart beating next to his.

Hansol sits down and leans back, closing his eyes with strength. Is there a cure for that pain? Hansol thinks so. Hansol believes that the cure is in his hands, he just needs to get back the value or maybe stop taking his psychiatric medication for a few days.

Everything is in his hands, just as he planed once, before that person (who he preferred not to mention or remember) appeared to play the stupid role of the anonymous hero. As if Hansol had ever needed someone like that in that moment when there was no longer life in him. As if everything will be resolved from the moment he saved him, giving him that chance to live. However, that chance, that untimely opportunity, is totally wasted, because from that second in which his passage to eternity was impeded, Hansol hasn't stopped traveling a world full of torture and despair. He hasn't stopped feeling himself in another plane. He hasn't stopped feeling this is not the place where he belongs to. But anyways, there he is. Sitting in that old couch, clinging to one of the few physical memories of him that he still keeps, wishing he could have the courage to stand on that ledge once again, wishing to cure the pain that oppresses him suffocatingly. Wishing that, until the moment of say goodbye to this world arrived, he wouldn't stop feeling dead, since that seems the only way to be a little bit closer to him.

It's not easy.

It's not easy to comeback when Yuta wasn't longer there.


	7. VI

**PART 1**

Euijin looks at Gwangsuk without understanding what that luxurious car does in front of them. However, neither of them says anything and try to be as discreet as possible, despite the fact that not only the eccentricity of the vehicle was too much, but also that the driver is nothing more and nothing less than Lee JunYoung. Maybe it's the strangest thing that has happened to them in the last 6 months.

"Hey" Jun greets them as if the detail of the car was something a little normal "I'm sorry for leaving without say nothing"

"Ah ... it's okay" Gwangsuk pats on his arm.

"Yes, we're glad to see you well" Euijin smiles.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?" YuChan can't contain himself "ARE YOU ACTUALLY ACTING AS IF JUNYOUNG HAD NOT DISAPPEARED FOR A DAY AND RETURNED WITH A RED MERCEDES BENZ AND USING THESE CLOTHES THAT I COULDN'T PAY EVEN IF I SELL ALL MY ORGANS?"

Everyone is silent. An uncomfortable silence.

"I ..." Jun tries to excuse himself but tell them the truth, tell them that he was a rich boy from Gangnam, isn't in his plans "... it's from my fath- ... stepfather"

"Are you adopted?" Euijin asks sadly in his words.

"DOESN'T YOUR STEPFATHER WANT TO ADOPT ME TOO?" YuChan screams again and Gwangsuk hits his arm.

"Jun. You don't need to explain to us" Gwangsuk throws a terrible look at YuChan before continuing to speak "as long as you're well and you're not in any trouble ..." he says leaving a small door open for some sudden confession from Jun.

Jun smiles "it's okay. Everything is fine"

"Anyway, how was your visit to home?" Gwangsuk tries to change the conversation.

"Well, it was ... fine" Jun pretends to be the happiest son in the world after seeing his parents, when in truth he only prefers to forget the fact that the night before he had to sleep in the car because his mother, totally disappointed with his decision, practically kicked him out of the house, throwing a small bag of his clothes and shoes onto the sidewalk.

"Where is your home?" Euijin asks curious.

"Yongsan!" He exclaims and a new lie comes out of his mouth.

YuChan starts laughing "I don't understand how your stepfather drives this luxury car in Yongsan"

Jun also laughs really awkward "Me neither" he says and scratches his head.

"Well, come on, it's time to go to class" Gwangsuk walks first with Euijin following in his footsteps.

Jun starts walking behind them when he feels YuChan's gaze on him. After a few minutes, he can't help but stop while Gwangsuk and Euijin move away without realizing it. He looks at him "What? why are you looking at me like that?"

YuChan smiles "I don't in believe you" admits with a victorious tone in his voice "You don't know how to lie Lee JunYoung"

"I don't know what are you talking about"

"Me either ... but I'll find out" extends his hand "Let's bet"

"What?" Jun laughs "I'm not going to bet anything with you, since the last time I did I'm still waiting for the Soju bottles you owe me"

"Ahhhhh, come on, that was stupid, I said I didn't think Gwangsuk and Euijin were dating, not I didn't think they kissed ... sometimes"

"SOMETIMES?" Jun throws a scandalous laugh "they do it whenever we're not there or when they think we're not behind the door spying"

YuChan starts walking again "That idea of yours was ... weird"

Jun reaches his steps "Was my idea weird? your idea was weird!"

"Of course not, my idea was not unusual, it was coherent for the case... we needed evidence for the bet"

"YOU WANTED TO PUT HIDDEN CAMERAS IN THEIR ROOM!"

"ahhh" YuChan moves his hands "Only for the evidence"

"Anyway, I won, I bet they were dating and I was right"

"A kiss doesn't mean they are in a relationship"

"And what are your parameters to identify a relationship? Tell me, I'll take note in my invisible notebook with my invisible ink pen" Jun jokes.

YuChan thinks a few seconds as they cross the door and enter the classroom "I don't know exactly" he says as he sits on the bench in front of Jun "But ..." he turns to see him "If the way that you look at someone, is directly proportional to the parameters of a relationship, you would already be married to the wreid kid and you would even be thinking of adopting a child from Africa like Angelina and Brad Pitt "

Jun frowns "Who is the weird kid? What are you talking about?"

"Ji Hansol" he mumbles and smiles cunningly "Yes. I also realized that"

"Huh, why are you watching me all the time? such a stalker"

"Pfff" tries to contain the laughter "I don't need to be a great detective to realize those kind if things, you're always so obvious, and maybe the other two lovebirds don't notice because they're too busy throwing kisses and looking at each other in secret ... but You never cheat me"

"Aishh" Jun complains "you always think you're right and it's not like that"

"By the way" Yuchan makes a small pause and his expression of uncertainty (worthy of an Oscar) appears "Ji Hansol didn't come to class either yesterday... Did he went with you to see your poor stepfather who lives in Yongsan and has a luxurious Mercedes Benz full of Gucci and Saint Laurent clothes? "

"Did Hansol doesnt went to class?" He can not help but worry and ignore the sarcasm in his question.

YuChan nods and turns to look at the still empty seat of Hansol "And it seems like today he won't come either"

* * *

**PART 2**

He looks at his watch. 6:45 pm. It's strange. The second class that Hansol doesn't attend and there are no signs of him anywhere on the campus. Jun returns to his car, not only thinking about how to make YuChan trust him and stop to deciphering his secrets, but also how to find Hansol, because HE REALLY must do it. He can't deny that he's worried. Then thinks of the only place he perhaps can found him: the cafe where Hansol works.

Jun goes to the place, and to be honest takes much longer than he should. He still doesn't know those streets with precision and even feels that he forgot how to drive between so much traffic. However, when he arrives and enters, he realizes that Hansol isn't there either. He approaches the bar and takes a seat. There's a busy waiter who not only serves and takes the orders but prepare each of them. When his eyes meet, he approaches him.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little late with the orders, but I'll take yours soon" he says, somewhat agitated.

"Hey, it's okay, take your time" Smiles and sees the waiter leaving. Jun looks around, the place is quite full to be Hansol's rest day. I mean, the place has only 2 employees. what kind of important thing could make he doesn't go to work? Jun really starts to worry. The waiter comes back and can't help but ask "Sorry, but didn't Hansol come today?"

The waiter sighs "No. Neither yesterday"

"Two days?" Asks with some fear.

He nods "Are you his friend right?"

"I'm his classmate"

"I've seen you here before" he says and continues with his work.

Jun feels a knot in his stomach... What if something bad has happened to Hansol? what If this time he get to do what he planned that night they met? what If he...?

"FINALLY!" The waiter's voice is heard so loud. "Please change your clothes quickly, there's a lot of work"

Jun looks at Hansol, who enters the place without even looking at his partner, with the hood of his hoddie on and his hands in his pockets. His heart starts beating normally ... Hansol is there and Jun knows that 'well' wasn't the word to describe his attitude but at least he is still standing. Jun realizes that it's is the most selfish feeling he has ever encountered. Being happy because that person still belonged to this place, but without care about how sad his soul could be. Being happy for not having to face a painful farewell. Being happy for not being able to let something or someone go, no matter how miserable their existence. Jun doesn't want to be that kind of person. Jun doesn't want to be such a coward.

Hansol passes by without even noticing his presence. Jun sighs at realize his eyes are red, perhaps because of crying too much. He is sure what (or rather, who) is the reason for that expression full of pain that Hansol has. But how to proceed? How to stay close without suffocating his life? And then, at that precise moment, he looks down and finds a small sign on the counter: 'We need an employee'

"I'm sorry for making you waiting, tell me, what's your order?" The waiter asks as he takes out his notebook and a pen from his apron.

"What are the requirements for this job?"

He looks up and sees him holding the sign in his hands "Are you interested?"

Jun nods "Yes, but I've never worked" he pauses when he realizes how bad it sounds "in a cafe" he adds "I've never worked in a cafe like this, I don't have much experience in this" he lies because telling the truth could be negative, although he already has lost the count of how many lies he said during the day.

"At first, if you only help me to take the orders is more than enough, the rest of the things you will lear it through the practice"

"Perfect" Jun extends his hand and looks at the name on his apron "Go Hojung, you've found your new employee, I'm Lee JunYoung and I would be happy to join your team" smiles and Hojung returns the gesture.

As expected, no one can resist the bright aura that Jun seems to display every time he is around someone else.  
Hojung shakes his hand "Welcome to 'Perhaps' Café, Lee JunYoung"

Jun looks around "Maybe you want me to start today?"

"Are you serious?" His eyes light up.

"Maybe I can help you to take the orders, and don't worry about the money, I'll start working formally tomorrow, this afternoon just take it as a way of thanking you for the work."

"Woah " Hojung Smiles and sighs in relief, he's about to say something else, but he sees Hansol pass by, trying to tying his apron correctly "Hey" Touchs his arm "Your friend will start working here from today"

Hansol looks up. Jun smiles a little uncomfortably, he knows perfectly well what continues after that. He knows that Hansol would get angry, maybe he would accuse him of being a stalker for the rest of the day. He would say Jun didn't respect his space. He would say that Jun was the person he hated the most in this world. He would say so many things that maybe would hurt him, but these things wouldn't make Jun walks away from him.  
Jun takes a deep breath, waiting for the blow.

"Ok" It's all Hansol says while finishs tying his apron and continues with his work.

Hojung raises his eyebrows and looks at Jun "I guess you already know him and I don't have to explain to you that he is a few words person, right?"

Jun nods. Hojung pats his shoulder and thanks again for his great help. He gives him a small notebook and a pencil where he must write the orders and leaves to continue his work on that busy afternoon.

* * *

**PART 3**

'OK'

Maybe Hansol's answer would be unnoticed if it weren't for a small but visible detail: his eyes are swollen, reddish to the point that the color of his pupils has turned grayish. Jun knows that he had cried (too much) and maybe behind his eyes, hides the reason for his absence in those last days. Sighs. He looks at the notebook in his hands and looks at Hansol again. Jun knows he needs that job no matter how much he gets paid. It is necessary because now, that he had almost completely broken the chains that bound him to his father, that money that he was going to earn, however minimal, would be his sustenance. And also, there is a reason even stronger than money for him to be there.

And when his first day of work ends, he doesn't hesitate to follow his steps until the sidewalk.

"Hansol!" He calls him but he is very focused on arranging his coat. Jun walks a few steps until he is by his side. "Hansol, are you going back to the campus? I can take you in my car if you want" But he doesn't get any answer "It's cold, it's really no trouble to take you"

"No"

"I knew you were going to answer that" Jun says a bit resigned. Starts walking beside him "Even so ... I insist, let's go together"

"Please, don't...." Hansol stops his steps and holds one of his hands to his face, as if trying to dry his eyes "I don't want to play your games, Go away, mind your own business and leave me alone" his voice breaks.

Jun never heard him speak in that slow, soft but direct way. As if he had used his last strength to release those words. Then he understands that maybe, only this time, he should give him that loneliness that seems to be needing ... in silence.

He remains immobile in his place and Hansol continues walking. Jun sees him walk away, the same way he saw him enter the cafe that afternoon, with his hood hiding his face and hands in his pockets. Should he follow him? Should he try to aproach him again?  
Jun remembers Ten's words, apparently that strategy would never work when it comes to Hansol.

Now that he knows the truth, now that he understands his attitudes, he feels that he no longer knows what is the right way to act. Jun sighs as he retraces his steps and gets into the car. He lays his face on the steering wheel. To be a person who he doesn't really knows well and who is only dedicated to move him away from his life, Jun worries too much about Hansol, however it is something he can't avoid, even though he knows how strange and uncomfortable it's sometimes. Jun maybe never thought of something like that when he decided to leave his home, leaving his luxurie life and comforts. Jun had left his towering ice castle in Gangnam, looking for a new life, maybe an adventure and ended up entangled in this story, wanting to save and protect someone else. His parents had never taught him how to fight for something or for someone, Jun had never experienced that lump in his throat when remembering a person, he had never spent sleepless nights because of worry, because of permanent fear. Jun lived all this time, believing that living was simply walking the flower path to which he had been destined. Today he realizes that he finally understands Hansol's pain, because after all, their stories aren't so different. Both lived believing that they had everything, until a break in their paths made them realize the reality. He raises his head. Takes a deep breath. There is only one difference between they two: Maybe Hansol had given up, but Jun still has a lot of extra strength to fight and do it for both of them.

He returns to campus thinking about him and maybe that was the incentive that forces him to stay awake, standing in that cold corridor on the second floor, in front of the large window that let see the entrance of the place at the end of the park. Looks at the clock. It's 10pm when he sees Hansol crossing the entrance arch and only at that moment, Jun can feel some relief inside him.

Patient waiting behind one of the columns, until he sees him in the hallway. As expected, Hansol's room is there, one floor lower than his. That's the reason why he had never managed to see him before going to class. Hansol opens the door to room 62 and enters.

Jun approaches stealthily. He takes out of his pocket the notebook and pen that Hojung gave him that afternoon and that he forgot to return. Write a small note and slide it under the door.

On the other side Hansol lies on the floor, exhausted from so much pain. He can't even reach the bed, he just ends there, leaning against the door. See that paper that enters his room. He takes it in his hands, and reads it.

"Everything will be fine.  
You're not alone.  
I'll always be here"


End file.
